but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Cliches galore going through my mind.
"God doesn't give you anything you can't handle."
"No one said life was fair."
"If it wasn't meant to be..."
"If you love someone, set them free..."
I suppose they come from somewhere. Comforting thoughts for people when life gets tough. I think Paul said it best though. No matter what happens, God knows what's best for us. He already knows our needs and desires but to present them to him humbly through prayer, and to thank him for the outcome regardless of whether or not it is what we wanted or thought we needed is freeing.
I was whining to a friend the other night, which I often do about this or that difficult situation, and she reminded me that God is in control. Well, yeah, I know that! I thought "And this helps me HOW? I want to DO something to make things BETTER! I want to KNOW the outcome! I want to have CONTROL! How am I supposed to WAIT when this situation is just NOT FAIR?!" She said something to me, something I've heard a thousand times, even felt before, but haven't allowed myself to grasp lately, despite the pure simplicity of it. She said that it helps her relax knowing that she's not in control, that someone bigger than her is in charge, that she can go about her business, knowing her Father has it all under contol and that He knows what's best.
Oh. Yes, that's right! Well, that was easy. Gee, I wonder why I didn't think of that before? Oh, well, I did in fact. I just didn't put it into motion. I have been telling myself, family and friends the same things: God is orchestrating this whole thing. God is in control. Apparently I didn't really believe it, or allow myself to feel it, because I've been a stressed out mess for weeks.
She also said something that I have been able to use the past few days. She said that when she was younger and would get mopey and depressed, her mother would tell her "It looks like you are thinking about yourself a little too much. Maybe you should go do something nice for someone and stop thinking about yourself so much."
Well, DUH. I've been tempted lately to cancel work, nap, generally avoid life. It's easy for me to sink into despair. I didn't really grow up with God, so there is a lot of "I-centered thinking" to undo. That little tip resonated with me, though. A reminder, once again, that "It is NOT about ME." I know it, I say it, but I FELT it that night. It was like "Ah.. peace. Something to implement!" God gave me some skills, some talents, and a great job. This is where my head is now. If I start to get mopey, I can go do something for someone else. I can serve. Heck, I could even do the dishes or laundry. I can look at is as doing something for another, not for myself.
Maybe this isn't very profound or insightful for anyone else, but since Tuesday night, I am ok. No meltdowns for 2.5 days, and this is good.
So quit your whining. It's not about YOU either. Go do something nice for someone else.